Confusion reigned in my life these past few months, when I've found myself wondering, 'who the hell am I?'
Ever find yourself just drifting through life's routines, assuming you know who you are and what you're doing?
Then all it takes is one major lifestyle change and a few unexpected surprises to knock you for six and have you questioning everything you thought you knew about yourself. Who am I really? What am I doing with my life? What SHOULD I be doing with my life?
These are questions I've been asking myself a lot lately, usually at 2am when I should be asleep, and can't do much with the answers anyway.
The past year of my life has gone past in quite a blur, for the most part. Literally.
In relatively short time slots I've found myself going from your average public servant, to student, to patient and back around again, with little time to adapt in between!
It all started with what some may call stepping out of reality for a bit, I prefer to call it dream-following myself. Amazing really how we spend so much time going through the motions and with one small change (by choice or otherwise), life can turn you upside-down, seemingly overnight.
Stepping out of the comfort zone I'd been in for 13 years was more than a little scary for me, as it would be for most.
But if I'd only known what other challenges life would throw into the mix, returning to student life for a while would be the least of my worries!
After all my researching, questioning, list making, and mind changing, here I am two (academic) years later. Two QQI certificates, several distinctions, two surgeries and numerous spells in 'rehab'.
Ironically, despite life's efforts at interrupting my new direction in life, it kind of did so at the right time. Creative activities can have a positive effect on our ability to handle stress, so I'm told. And you could probably put a fashion course into such a category. It certainly got me through a few toughies.
I think what I've learned over this topsy-turvy time is that life is short and too unpredictable to be taken for granted.
My advice, (to myself as much as anyone else) is to listen to your instincts and take the hints life is trying to give you. The longer you ignore it, the more extreme the hints become, trust me!