It's not the ideal situation for creative thinking, so I thought I'd write instead a bit about where I currently find myself, and who with.
Drawing upon the lunchtime conversation today, I thought I'd share some of those inevitable features of hospital, any hospital.
I'd be interested to hear what particular memories or associations you'd add to the list!
- Lights off before it gets dark. Lights back on before it gets bright.
- Dinner at lunchtime, supper at dinner time, and breakfast in the middle of the night.
- A table with the dimensions of a ruler and temperament of a shopping trolley, on which to store your entire life. Usually piled high with chocolate. And fizzy drinks.
- A comedian. In the form of a patient.
- Another comedian in the form of staff.
- The patient who needs the window open 24/7 despite the weather. Then the one who needs it closed 24/7 despite the weather. And the one caught in the crossfire.
- The private patient shoved in a public room, and not a bit happy about it.
- The public patients listening to the private patient, and not a bit happy about it.
- The one forced to wear the flimsy piece of material as replacement for the pyjamas they didn't bring.
- The one who bought new co-ordinating pyjamas especially. And a dressing gown to match. (Would like to say this is me but afraid not).
- Pedal bins that more than half the population can't use.
- Squeaky wheels. Everywhere. On everything.
- A continuous round-the-clock queue for the bathroom. Make that every bathroom.
- Milky tea and soggy cornflakes. Or even vice versa. And a digestive biscuit to dunk.
- A pile of last year's gossip magazines with remnants of the above tea and digestives.
- And to save the best for last. My all time favourite. Peas. Peas. And more peas - the things most likely to put me in hospital had I not been there already!
Did we miss anything??